Week 11

I just realized that I haven’t posted a blog this week. Yikes! My subby is really trying hard to fight against me and appears to be succeeding. I don’t think I have a fear of success but it is more a fear of failure. What if I do everything right and fail? I BELEIVE in the MKMMA but am struggling with believing in myself. I seem to be in a downward spiral and confusion appears to be reigning. I will watch today’s video and pray that I believe in myself!

 

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Week 10

I think we are week 10. I have had a hectic week. The insurance totaled  our car that had gotten stolen. I have been spending  way too much time  and energy on researching  new vs used. Finally after spending 6 hours at the  dealership  we are the proud parents  of a brand new car payment! Isn’t that wonderful! I will choose  to change  my attitude and be thankful we have the ability  to purchase  a car.

Have a good  week everyone!

Week 9 Thankfulness

As I begin this Thanksgiving week I realize that I am truely thankful  for all that God has blessed me.

I am thankful for the love of wonderful loving family that He gave me. From my husband, children, grandchildren, to all my extended relations, I have been very, very blessed.

I am thankful for my job that I enjoy going to each day. I got it when I was at one of my lowest self confidence times and didn’t think anyone would want to hire me due to my age. I have excelled in the position and my confidence has raised.

I am thankful for the home God has provided us. It is in a safe, nice neighborhood in the beautiful Northwest. On a regular basis, I look around as I am driving and say “Thank you God for this beauty”.

I am thankful for electricity and heat. My daughter has been without for a week due to a winter storm. She and her 2 babies have been sleeping on friends couches to keep warm. Here in the states, we take our comfort too much for granted.

I am thankful I live in the United States where we have the freedoms that we have at this time. I am thankful for the military that keeps us safe.

I am thankful for having the opportunity to join the alliance of MKMMA. It has been an eye opening experience. I have had growth in spite of my stubborness. I am actually starting to not compare myself to others. Its hard to know what is “doing my best” or just doing. I have always been told all my life that I “could do better than that”. It was meant as an encouragment but it had the opposite effect. I realize now that I can be what I will to be. It isn’t a matter of good enough.

Most of all I am thankful for a Creator who has called me by name. Who has known me since before time began. Who has loved me and gave His Son for me so that when this life is done and I have fulfilled my purpose here, that I can have eternal life with Him.

May you all be richly blessed this Thanksgiving season and for years to come! Happy Thanksgiving!

Week 8

Wow! I just got finished listening to this weeks web. I was not able to listen due to me feeling that I didn’t have enough time! Boy…this really spoke to me!

I had a conversation with my guide tonight regarding that I have not put each of the steps into my OATS. I am incorporating each item starting now so that I am not feeling overwhelmed with paperwork and items to do.

Open my mind and follow my heart. Desire is not enough!

Week 7 – Love in good and bad times

This week I got a choice to “give love”. Our car was stolen on Monday from my husbands place of employment with a security camera watching. The person took approx 10 seconds to go from 50 feet away until he was driving away in our car! All caught on camera but we are not able to see the persons face. I was surprised that I did not feel any anger. I just found myself blessing the person and letting it go. I was so happy to feel the sense of calmness I felt. When discussing it later with my husband, I realized he was feeling the same also (maybe reading my Og out loud is rubbing off on him). I was feeling as if “I am finally getting the hang of this”. If I can be calm with this happening I was doing great!

Well…I got ahead of myself in feeling proud. What is the saying about pride comes before the fall?About this same time my email went out for 3 days. It was a problem on the servers part at the cable company. I found myself worrying and stressing more and more daily. How was I going to get the links to the webinar? Who was trying to contact me? I am ashamed to say I finally blew up on a poor woman that happened to call to take a random survey for my cable company. Oh my gosh! How far I fell! How could this be that I could be so calm about a major issue and come unglued over a smaller issue?

I learned from this that I will continue to work with my subby and to make the choice not to react when thngs arent going my way. I got 50% right which is more than i would have in the past.

I will work even harder to love ALL those around me.

Week 6-Getting Real

This past week was really hard and I almost quit. It is hard not to compare myself to other people that seem to have it all together. They have beautiful insightful blogs, they know how to twitter and seem to be making great progress.

Now for me…. I just finally started seeing shapes last week. I am happy that I AM seeing them now! I have been feeling emotionally and mentally drained. People at my work have noticed. I got on Sunday’s web and could barely stay awake for it. Then when we had multiple projects which took having to go shopping for stuff I went on overload.

I tried to watch the digital connections on Monday. My head was spinning to where I had to walk away. I still need to watch all the before videos and then watch Monday’s again. Hopefully it will make sense. I really want to be able to take advantage of twitter.

I have always wanted to know everything yesterday and when I dont understand I want to be able to talk it out. Having to do everything by writing questions is frustrating to me. Maybe that is all part of the learning process. I have never taken a “self-help” class before so everything is new. Plus it has been 44 years since I have been in school! Who says you cant teach an old dog new tricks?

I posted in the Alliance about wanting to quit and had some wonderful encouragement from a few people. You really helped! Thank you from the bottom of my heart! Then my husband encouraged me to continue which was surprising to me. We are getting very little time together and everything is falling onto his shoulders. He told me that he knew going into this it woulod take a lot of my time. I am so grateful to have his support!

So… I put on my big girl panties and here I am! I will continue one day at a time. I will navigate by my compass and keep encouraging and loving on the girl in the mirror.